Post Op-Day 1

I guess this is my first day post-op! I am doing remarkably well today and still waiting for that horrific pain to set in that everyone assures me will come. I am still taking Lortab every four hours. Today I added in my antibiotic, Keflex, which I had an allergic reaction to. So they called in Amoxicillan, and guess what? My face got hot, red, and puffy. Tomorrow is New Year's Day and they will call in a Z-Pack to Walgreens as my Publix pharmacy is not open. I am now taking 50 mg of Benedryl every six hours and 20 mg of Prednisone per day for four days to fight the allergic reaction to the antibiotic. Fun! Other than that little set back, all is good. I have eaten lots of that rice casserole, Italian Ice, Popsicles, Gellato, and pudding. I am drinking ice water still. Anything cold is still preferable to anything warm at this point. I also ate a scrambled egg this morning, but I didn't really enjoy it. It wasn't hard to eat though. So things that I did today:

• eat, eat, and drink.
• wore my neck ice pack about three times today
• took Lortab every four hours like clockwork
• watched Netflix and stayed in bed

Hopefully, tomorrow night's update will be as good as this one. Those online forums are telling me the ball WILL drop (hey, tonight's New Years Eve and the ball really will drop!) and I AM going to have a lot of pain. I'm just waiting for it.

Adult Tonsillectomy-Day of surgery

I had my surgery this morning about 10 am. I think I left the outpatient surgery center around noon. Dr. Heindel did find a constriction in my esophagus, right behind my voice box, due to acid reflux. He "stretched it" (however you do that) and told me I must take Zantac twice a day regularly in order to keep it open. So, now I have my very first "needed" medicine. I have never taken an Rx before because I "had" to. That is weird for me. Anyway, I felt pretty good today. As the day wears on, my pain is increasing. I know that day three and beyond will be a lot worse than I am right now. So my stats today look like this:

• I am eating and drinking a lot. I have eaten 6 snack pack puddings, 4 Italian Ice, 2 bowls of a rice casserole a friend brought over for dinner, one slice of homemade pound cake, half a milkshake from Chick-Fil-A, and lots of water. Cold drinks feel much better than warm things. I am also chewing ice which feels really good when I swallow.
• I have been sitting in bed and letting everyone wait on me hand and foot. I think rest is probably essential to healing.
• I have used an ice pack on my neck a few times. It feels good and I think it might be helping with swelling.
• I am taking my Lortab every 4 hours without fail. I watch the clock the last hour, because I really want to take it. The pain is not unbearable, but it sits at a 7 or so. It goes down to a 3 or 4 with Lortab for a few hours.
• There is a cool mist humidifier running non-stop in my bedroom where I am holed up. I love it.
• My tonsils are already beginning to scab. I can feel it. I know the pain will get a lot worse before it gets better.

This is me right now! Pretty.

Adult Tonsillectomy

Yeah, I titled that on purpose so that if someone should use that term in a Google search, my blog might show up. The fact is, I am getting a tonsillectomy tomorrow. I am a 44 year old female and have been all over the web reading horror story after horror story about the recovery from this elective surgery. I am scared, but ready. I am more frightened at the thought of vomiting than the pain at this point, but that might change once I feel how awful the pain is. :0) So, keep coming back for updates on the healing process (and photos...be warned.) I doubt I will post tomorrow in my anesthesia fog, but hopefully on New Years Day there will be a post. Here's to weight loss, liquid lortab, and streaming Netflix.

Random thoughts...

• My dog is ten years old now and has psychological problems. He will only poop on cement since having an impacted anal gland. This does not make me happy as this means he poops on the sidewalk leading to our house, or the front porch. I hate him.
• Simon really needs to sleep in his own bed so I can have sex with my husband.
• I cannot wait for the weight loss after my tonsillectomy. I hope to be 150 pounds by July.
• Right now I am drinking a Sam Adams Lager. No weight loss drinking like that.
• Cami is going to Valencia, Spain this summer on an exchange program. I want to be her.
• Josiah has a very small head and huge feet. He is almost 9 years old.
• Sometimes raising children feels like being pecked to death by a duck.
• Mark Zuckerberg could be the antichrist. Think about it.

Why don't I blog more often?

Mostly because I am on Facebook. I guess I think everyone is and therefore there is no need to blog here.

So...

Olaf's health is declining rapidly. We are actually talking about disability. It is horrible and I hate it for him. He is trying to get disability from the VA, but we haven't gotten approved or denied yet. He lives on painkillers and his tolerance is going up. It takes more medicine to take away the pain now. Never a good sign.

I am having a tonsillectomy on the 30th of this month. I am scared shitless. I have been to this site and I am even more scared. Basically it is to look down my throat to see why I am having trouble swallowing and since Dr. Heindel thinks my tonsils are part of the problem, he wants to yank them out. The great thing about the surgery is weight loss! I have lost over 30 pounds so far and am counting on another 10 after surgery.

I need to do a vlog, but I don't have any room on my computer for the video. I guess I need a new computer. Or figure out how to move this stuff somewhere else.

That's about it in a nutshell.

So much for those updates...

I suck. I juiced through Sunday and then ate something on Day 8. I am eating vegan right now for a lot of reasons. 1. It is easier to adjust to eating from fasting when you aren't putting crap into your body. 2. I watched the documentary called Forks Over Knives and was amazed at what this lifestyle can accomplish for your health. I really, really want to eat this way forever. I don't want to be all Gung Ho, then slip back into my standard american diet. I want to lose weight permanently and regain my health in the process. I'm not going to do that by eating pizza and fast food. I am committed and I will regain my health. Let's face it, someone needs to live long enough to raise these children. I am hoping Olaf joins me on this lifestyle, but I cannot force him. He truly is a junk food junkie and would eat pizza and ice cream every day of his life if he could. He says he will try, but only time will tell. Especially since we are going to Disney soon. That will be the ultimate test.

Day 3 of my juice fast

I am feeling fine. I want to eat, but I am not really hungry. Olaf started yesterday and had an awful day. He was so tired and felt like poo. He is feeling a little better today. My mornings consist of a concoction of fruit juice and then I drink mostly vegetable juice mixed with some fruit for the rest of the day. My favorite "green" recipe thus far is:

A couple of handfuls of spinach

2 romaine leaves

1 or 2 celery stalks

1 large carrot (or 2 regular size)

thumb nail size of ginger

half of a zucchini

one small green apple

one pear

I tried beets in my juice and about barfed. I am NOT a beet person. Olaf made a spicy juice that I couldn't tolerate either. Mostly because it had a beet in it. The jalepeno didn't bother me too much. Tonight we are going to try a tomato juice and heat it up. It has tomatoes, cilantro, garlic, red bell peppers, and 1/4 of a red onion. We will juice it and then heat it up to see if it tastes like soup. :0)

Maybe next time I'll vlog!

I started this thing

I started my juice fast today. A day earlier than I was going to. But I had some great produce here that was starting to go bad and I thought, "why not?" It is 3:35 pm and I am hungry, but I know in a few days that hunger will subside and I will feel great. I need to prepare myself for the next three days though. Low energy, headaches from caffeine withdraw, etc. Olaf is starting tomorrow, so we are making juice for the entire day tonight. There are a lot of recipes and great information at Join the Reboot! Let's DO this thang!!

Edited to add: My green juice today was spinach, celery, cucumber, carrots, green apple, and pear. My (breakfast) fruit juice was apple and pear. I bought a bunch of produce today at Sam's and I am looking forward to orange juice tomorrow morning. I also made a smoothie tonight with one ripe banana, a few frozen raspberries and about 1/2 cup of almond milk in the blender. I am not sure if the almond milk is "cheating" but it was good.

Let the juice fast begin

Olaf and I are starting a juice fast on Monday and I am so excited about it. I watched the movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead a couple of weeks ago. I hauled out my juicer (yes, I actually have one!) and started concocting juices and drinking them in addition to my Weight Watchers diet that I have been doing. But I really, really wanted to do a 10 day juice fast. To clean my system out and detoxify my body. If I lose weight in the process then that is fine by me. I will post here daily with my thoughts on the process. I'm sure the first few days will be rough, but I am super excited anyway. I'll post Monday night.

TIA is more than just aunt in Spanish

Yesterday, it seems I had a mini stroke. More specifically, a Transient Ischemic Attack. I woke up feeling weird and had some tachycardia. It was very hard for me to think and it seemed like it took forever to find the right word I wanted to say. When I tried to say something to Cami and it came out as babble, I knew something was wrong. I called 911, then hung up! They called me back and convinced me that a paramedic should respond. They ended up transporting me to Newnan Hospital and did a CT of my head to make sure I didn't have major bleeding in my brain. The doctor wants me to follow up with an MRI which is already scheduled for this Thursday. If all is well in my head, then I get to have a tonsillectomy on September 26th. I might chicken out since it isn't a life or death operation, but Dr. Heindel wants to look down there regardless. I'll still have to go under anesthesia and those big ass tonsils may as well come out since they are causing me trouble. I am just afraid of the recovery. Poor Olaf, who is still in constant pain, now gets to handle me and my health issues. Poor guy can't catch a break.

Cami is coming home

Cami should be landing at JFK in 40 minutes! She has spent the last two weeks in Berlin, Germany. Can you believe my daughter has been to New Zealand, Australia, and Germany in a matter of 6 weeks? She is one lucky teenager to have such cool parents.

I am not sure if I posted this (because my posting is so sporadic and I don't read my blog before I write a post) but the Mayo Clinic did not find anything definitive with Olaf. His pemphigus doctor is trying to take him off of prednisone, but in order to do that he needs to increase his Imuran which makes Olaf incredibly sick to his stomach. Not to mention it causes a fatal cancer when taken long term.

Simon is sick with another cold and slight fever. He either got it at the eye doctor last Thursday or when he got his hair cut on Monday. He screams "BOOGER" when he needs to blow his nose. Of course, I have to hold the Kleenex while he blows and yells "DO IT! DO IT!" which means to pinch his nose off after blowing. I am trying to do school with him because this child does not know his alphabet or his numbers. Easier said than done with this one. He will always be "the baby" though.

Looking forward to Disney World in a few months. We leave on Halloween, so we'll be there for the Christmas decorations this year. We are doing the Very Merry Christmas Party, character dining with Winnie the Pooh, and a Backyard BBQ character dining at Fort Wilderness. We will be staying at Animal Kingdom-Kidani Village, The Treehouse Villas, and a weekend at Disney's Vero Beach Resort.

Best Friend

I've never really had a best friend in my adult life. I grew up having best friends though. My very first bestie was Valerie Mason. We went to 4 year old, half day, pre-k together at a Lutheran Church. Her Grandpa owned a Dairy Mart right down the road from the church and we would walk down there and he would give us a popsicle. Think about that. FOUR YEARS OLD walking a few blocks by ourselves. I would never trust Simon to make it six houses down, much less a few blocks away. Anyway, we were best friends through about second or third grade until she moved I think. She was also my first kiss and my first shared cigarette. See what kind of a life I lived? I am Facebook friends with Valerie and I asked her if she remembered our kissing and smoking adventures. She did. I guess I'm a good kisser. Then, bestie number two was Deanne Davidson. She lived down the street from me in grade school. She loved horses and had three older sisters and one older brother. We skipped school once in the fourth grade and skateboarded all around town. Deanne died of anorexia in her adult life. Then I moved and changed schools in the 6th grade. My sixth grade bestie was Julie Edwards. Always more mature than I was, but we hung out a lot that year. Julie took my little brother's virginity when he was 12 and she was 14. Julie ended up getting pregnant at 16 and now lives a life with no phone married to a guy named Stoner. Or maybe Stoney. When we moved into 7th grade, Tammy Fletcher became my best friend and stayed my bestie until about 10th grade when I got my first real boyfriend. Tammy and I walked everywhere together. To the mall, the Dairy Queen, Bob's Burgers, you name it, we walked there. I was the better student, she was the better communicator. I remember her birthday, meeting half way between our houses, laying on the ground and watching the clouds. She currently lives in Bend, OR selling real estate. Before the market went under, she was doing quite well and still makes more money than we do even in this market. She was born to sell. Greg Suiter was my first real boyfriend. He was a runner and his dad was an asshole. He was an only child and he could never meet his father's expectations. We dated about two years until I moved away to Washington right before my senior year. Greg eventually got married, then divorced, then got his girlfriend pregnant, then killed himself in the garage of his house. I sent flowers to the funeral and have sent a Christmas card to his mama ever since. His mama did divorce his dad prior to Greg's death but after he graduated from high school. Greg's son never got a chance to meet him, but at least Greg's mom has something to remind her of her only child. My senior year I was the new girl in a very small high school. I found another boyfriend and clung to him and his family like crazy. I still keep in touch with his parents although I haven't talked to him since he broke up with me in the summer of 1985.

I got married in 1988 and haven't had a best (girl)friend since. Sometimes I miss that. I realize having a best friend requires work and I am just not the kind of person that likes to nurture a relationship. I despise talking on the phone, I don't have a lot of time to do things with a friend, and I don't really like other people's children. I would, however, like to go out once in awhile and have a margarita and talk about things besides kids and husbands. Does anyone want a best girlfriend? I'm available.

Update on that German girl :)

So, Andrea's family will be here on Sunday to pick her up. It has been a good two weeks with her. She was very quiet in the beginning, but she acclimated quite well to our family. All the flights look full for Cami to get over there, but we are still checking all the avenues to get her there. Hopefully something will work out.

Olaf leaves Sunday for the Mayo Clinic. He found out today (when he went to look at his direct deposit) that his disability ended June 30th. That means there was not a deposit today in our bank account. Needless to say, he is on the phone with doctor's offices and the disability company to try to rectify this situation. Not getting paid for two weeks is kind of a bummer to say the least. Just grateful we have a little in the savings or we would be screwed!

She's home, Andrea's here

Cami came home last Sunday and Andrea arrived last night. We now have a German exchange student in our midst. We didn't spend a lot of time with her before she went to bed last night. Maybe three hours. The girls played Wii and air hockey. Olaf will take the family to the 4th of July parade tomorrow and I will stay home with Caleb. We bought some fireworks from Florida on our way home from Disney last year, so we have some fun fireworks to shoot. We have never done "big" fireworks before, so this will be interesting to say the least.

Camille enjoyed her time in Australia, but she didn't love it like she did New Zealand. She is already planning and saving for her People to People trip next year. It is called European Heritage and is a 20 days trip to England, France, Germany, Belgium, The Netherlands, and Switzerland. She needs to raise all the money this time. It's actually less expensive than her New Zealand trip, but we just cannot afford to help her this time. She has 11 months...

Olaf and I plan on going to Rome (Italy, not Georgia, you rednecks) sometime next year as well. After Camille gets her driver's license. I am not sure exactly when, where, or how...but that is our plan. I have never been out of the country and I think Rome would be such a fun trip filled with history. Olaf still has 2 positive space tickets that Delta gave them for something. I think they expire next year and that is what we plan on using for our little jaunt across the Atlantic.

And, that's it for now. Does anyone still read this thing?

Camille's Trip Update

Well, Cami cried when she left New Zealand. Can you believe she didn't want to go to Australia? That makes me laugh and mad at the same time. She has been in Australia for four days now. She spent a couple of days in Sydney then went to Shoal Bay. See the Sydney Opera House behind her? Now she is flying to Cairns. Tomorrow she gets to snorkel the Great Barrier Reef. Then her last day she gets to see kangaroos and crocodiles and hold a koala. She will be home Sunday evening. She will barely have time to adjust back to our time zone before Andrea gets here from Germany for two weeks. Then our family will have two weeks without Andrea before Cami gets back on a plane and leaves for Berlin for another two weeks!

Olaf has an appointment next week with a pain doctor. He needs to get his pain under control so he can go back to work. He's been home so long it is going to be weird to have him back at work. I am not sure when he will go back, but I am assuming it will be the beginning of July. His Mayo Clinic appointment is July 18th. He is flying down the 17th and probably won't be home until the 20th. Hopefully they can figure out what is going on with this poor guy. ::crosses fingers::

I am so excited

If you know me at all, you know I despise the stomach virus. Personally, I have not vomited since Thanksgiving Day 1994 because I am SO fearful of it. One reason I hate the stomach virus so virulently is because of the way it is spread. You can ONLY get the stomach virus from poop or vomit. That means you have to ingest poop or vomit in order for you to get this awful virus. GROSS! Whenever my children get the stomach virus I do everything in my power to contain it. I wear disposable gloves and surgical masks when I am with a vomiting child or cleaning up vomit. I clean and Lysol everything after every single time a person in my house pukes. I spray the toilet, the flusher, the light switch, the sink, the floor. I go through a huge bottle of Lysol with every episode of the stomach virus. Needless to say, since I hate it so much, I do everything in my power for my children not to get the virus. I will not let my children play in those nasty play areas at McDonalds, if we go into a store of any sort I use hand sanitizer during the store visit as well as after the store visit. I make my children wash their hands immediately upon arrival at home. I am sure my children wash their hands more than most children. All that said I found the best website about the stomach virus. Listed there was another website with hand sanitizer that actually kills the norovirus as well as the rotovirus. To say I was giddy with excitement doesn't even capture the feeling I had. Of course I immediately ordered some and cannot wait to get it.

On another note, Camille is going to school today with her host family. She is excited and I am excited for her. All I know about the host family so far is they live on a farm, have 2 girls aged 17 and 15, the girls are really into sports, and she ate fish and chips for supper last night by a fire. She also said the toilet, shower, and bath are all in separate rooms. I hope to hear more when she gets home from school. I do know this is the high school she is at right now.

Update on Camille's trip

Yesterday, Camille had a blast! It was the first full day of her trip and what a day it was! They started off the day in Rotorua and went to the Agrodome Farm Show! I think they got to watch live sheep dog herding (like in the movie Babe) but I don't know for sure. Then they went to Mount Ngongotaha and took a gondola up the mountain, then rode this fun go cart/luge thing down the mountain.



She had a blast doing that and rode it three times! It seems their tour guide over there is named Tony and Camille has taken quite a liking to him. I insisted she text me his photo. So, meet Tony the tour guide!

After that they went to Wai-O-Tapu Thermal Wonderland. She didn't text me anything about that because I was already sleeping at that point. Then they left to spend in the night in a Marae which is the local meeting house of the Maori people. She had dinner in the style of a Hangi, prepared using steam or hot rocks in a pit oven. They are spending the night in that Marae as I type this. She texted me and said she was so cold she was shivering. Her exact words were, "OK, in the marae, it's awesome, gonna shower, I'm so beautifully cold I'm shivering and today was awesome!!! I love u!" It doesn't get better than that.

Then, the delegation leader called me about 6 am this morning to tell me there had been an earthquake at Christchurch. The delegation is supposed to go there in five days, but may be rerouted by the People to People office. So, because of that and the ash cloud from the volcano in Chile, their itinerary may be affected. I am sure they will do whatever it takes to keep the students safe and still have fun.

Camille will meet her home stay family today and for the next two nights will be staying with them in Palmerston North, New Zealand. She will actually be attending high school with her host family's child so that will be really weird for her. She has absolutely nothing to compare it to. I am hoping the host family has a computer and she can email me, or even skype. ::fingers crossed::

She's gone...

My baby girl left this morning for New Zealand and Australia. I cannot believe my child is going to be gone for 16 days half way around the world. As I type she is on a plane over New Mexico flying to LAX. Then at 2:40 am Eatern she will board a plane bound for Aukland, New Zealand. She will lose a day and miraculously be in winter when she arrives at 8:30 am Sunday morning local time. (4:30 pm Eastern on Saturday here) To say I am proud of her doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I cannot wait to see the photos and watch the videos and hear the stories. Only 16 more days...

Boob is fine...

After being smashed until my boob was as flat as a pancake, and an ultrasound to boot, it has been determined I don't need to go back until next year. All clear.

Camille is all packed and ready to go. So exciting!! I cannot wait to see the photos when she gets back. She is going to have such a fabulous time and I am so excited for her. Olaf is going to try to drive her to the airport Friday morning. I hope that goes OK, but if it doesn't someone from work can come pick him up. He plans on going to the gate with her and waiting until she leaves. I know he is going to cry.

I have been watching the Casey Anthony trial when I can. The prosecution is doing a great job, but I am looking forward to seeing the defense's case as well. I'd love to be on the jury.

Oh...I bought P90X on Ebay and am waiting for it to arrive. I wonder how much of it I will be able to do. I am going to give it a try though. I just hope no one sets up a hidden video camera and tries to record me. How embarrassing.

More of the same...

Olaf got the results today from the spine doctor and everything is normal. We are just waiting for the blood work from the rheumatologist. If that is normal, then I guess he needs to go back to work until he goes to the Mayo Clinic in July. Yes, he still has pain and yes, he is still taking pain killers but perhaps he can get away with not taking the pain killers during work hours.

I go in tomorrow for the ultrasound on my breast. I will post results as soon as I know something. I am the same age as Olaf's mom was when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She died at age 50. Needless to say, Olaf is more scared about this than I am.

We are getting estimates for concrete work and landscaping. We need our driveway and walkway regraded and poured as the run off is still causing our house/foundation to sink. We also need the front lawn landscaped since the septic lines have been replaced. I am sure it is going to cost a lot of $$ that we really don't have to spend.

Camille leaves this Friday. She spends all day Friday traveling with huge lay overs in Dallas and Los Angeles. She doesn't get on the plane to Aukland until 2:30 am (Eastern) Saturday morning. She arrives at 8:30 am Sunday morning local time (which is 4:30 pm Saturday for us!) Talk about jet lag! She is going to be SO messed up when she gets home. At least she gets to change seasons and have some winter weather. Lucky girl.

When it rains...

You know the old cliche, right? Well my routine mammogram has turned into a needed ultrasound and spot check due to some changes from my mammogram last year. That is scheduled for next Tuesday. Hoping it isn't serious.

Olaf has not gotten his results from the tests last Friday. His spine doctor is out this week and he is the one that needs to read the results. He has not gotten back the blood work from the rheumatologist either. We did go to the Veterans Service Office yesterday for Olaf to apply for disability. Ah, the joy! I have no idea when he is going back to work. I hope it's soon. I mean I really love having him home, but he cannot stay home forever. He is on disability right now (which is 100% of his pay) but it goes down after 90 days, so he needs to scoot!

Camille leaves in a week for New Zealand and Austrailia. How exciting!! Our friends gave her a Bon Voyage party today which was really sweet. They gave her a Domo to take with her and she plans on taking photos with it all over the place. The traveling Domo!

We are replacing our septic lines today. Our yard is completely dug up and it looks horrible. But they needed to be replaced after 23 years of tree roots growing into them. Especially since there are seven people using a septic system designed for four. It is so sad to see the front lawn nothing but a pile of dirt, but I am sure in a few years it will be as good as new. For now, it is just ugly.

Simon is cute. The end.

and the beat goes on...

Drums keep pounding a rhythm through my brain. (and yes, I had to Google how to spell rhythm)

OK-no results from the tests that Olaf had done on Friday except he does know that the EMG done on his left arm was normal. However, the results from the myelogram and CT scan have not been read yet. I need to update here when we get those results in. Olaf went and got his blood drawn yesterday for some tests that Dr. Stark ordered. I had them add a Lyme's Disease test in there because advanced Lyme can cause a lot of neurological symptoms as well. I watched a documentary about Lyme Disease called "Under Our Skin" on Netflix and it was very interesting.

OK, Olaf is home with pizza from Rockback. We haven't tried it yet, so I am going to break my low carb diet to see if it is worth it! (Not that I am losing weight on it anyway...)

Olaf's health status (cussing follows)

On May 2nd, Olaf went to the ER via ambulance with severe shoulder pain. He was driving in his car when all of a sudden he got this twinge in his shoulder kind of like when you sleep wrong and you pinch a nerve. The twinge continued to get worse and worse, until he had to pull over and call an ambulance. When I met the ambulance they were working on Olaf. Thinking it was a heart attack, they hooked him up to the EKG all the while Olaf was screaming and crying in pain. His feet were shaking and he was literally screaming. I had never seen him like that before and I felt helpless. I was there to answer the EMT's questions and give Olaf's vital statistics. They decided to take him to the Fayetteville hospital, so I drove the van there. When I arrived at the hospital, Olaf was lying all by himself in a room screaming, sweating, frothing at the mouth. It took about 20 minutes before the doctor saw him and told the nurse to give him some Dilaudid to relieve the pain. While the first dose took the edge off, it only took the pain level from a 10 down to an 8. At the ER they did a CT Scan and a chest X-Ray to make sure he did not have an aortic dissection, and after those came back clear they basically said go home and good luck. The next day, May 3rd, I took Olaf to our regular primary care doctor who ordered a bunch of blood work (all clear) and an MRI of his neck. I took Olaf to his MRI and lo and behold we were told that he has a herniated disc in his neck that is causing his pain. Hallelujah! We thought we had an answer. However, luck was not on our side (or God...however you want to look at that.) I took Olaf to a spine doctor, Dr. Haid, yesterday at Piedmont and he told Olaf he does NOT have a herniated disc and has no idea what is causing the pain. So, Olaf is scheduled for a CT/myelogram, X-Rays and and EMG this Friday up at Piedmont in Atlanta and we are back at square one. Square fucking one. Do you know how frustrating this is for him? He has had joint pain, muscle pain, muscle twitching, severe fatigue, and several other symptoms for months. He has been to a neurologist who asked him if it was "in his head." What the fuck? Are you kidding me?? He has been out of work since May 2nd because he cannot drive. The minute he tries to drive his pain is immediate and crippling. This is giving Camille a lot of driving practice though. She runs him to appointments that are local and errands that need to be done. He is depressed, despondent, and cries. He is frustrated as you can imagine. He is in the process of filling out paperwork for the VA because all of these symptoms are linked to Gulf War Illness. And that about sums it up for now.

On another, happier note. My Gracie turned ten years old yesterday. She loves her face painting kit more than the candy vending machine that she just had to have! Grace is full of vim and vigor and will go far in life with her determination if she puts it to good use. :) Grace-if you read this one day-I love you more than you will ever know.

Ohhhmmmm

Well, I just got home a week ago from Nashville. I was there for the Pure Romance Convention and had a great time. Now I leave Wednesday for two nights with a girlfriend for Panama City Beach! I kind of have mommy guilt for leaving again after just getting home. (actually it's wife guilt) I'm sure it won't last too long though. I am more excited about my friend going, than I am for myself. She is a single mom of four children and never, ever gets to go anywhere without them. I think it will be really good for her to just have two days of relaxing on the beach without hearing "mom" all the time. We laugh a lot when we are together and laughter is always a good thing. She doesn't drink alcohol, so she will be the designated driver at all times. Gosh I love friends like that!

You know what I miss? Old Mad TV. That is where Ohmmmmm (my title) came from. In my mind this is what I hear.

Olaf's health

Olaf has been going through some neurological testing recently. He is having a lot of different issues. Cramps in feet and hands, pain in joints, lethargy. The list literally goes on and on and, until we get a diagnosis, I'd rather not write about it (or think about it). All that to say that he has had to gather all his medical records from the past and this blog has been very helpful for that. I was able to go back to 2006 and tell him what his brain MRI results were. So, here I am documenting again. It might be important one day to have this all in writing. Olaf is definitely suffering from Gulf War Syndrome (thanks to an anthrax vaccine we believe) and has a year to file a claim. He goes in tomorrow for another MRI on his brain and then next Thursday for an EMG. To say that I'm scared is a huge understatement. I want him to live to see our children grow up.

My children are almost done with school. Six more days. Camille will not have a break though. Her trip to Japan has been cancelled due to the earthquake and she has been rerouted to New Zealand and Australia. She will be gone 17 days and I am going to miss her terribly. She leaves in mid June. We will host a 14 year old girl from Berlin the first two weeks of July, then Camille will travel to her home the first two weeks of August. I sure hope they like each other, or this is going to suck for them.

Simon is almost potty trained. He is doing really good. He tells us now when he has to go instead of just letting loose in his Pull Up. Yes, I realize he is almost four. I took him to the doctor yesterday for allergies. He is sneezing and his little eyes are all puffy and red. She prescribed some eye drops that cost me $116! It is called Pataday and HOLY COW was it spendy. I hope it does its job. He is also on Claritin. It's weird because I never thought I had allergies, but Dr. Heindel put me on Nasonex and it is helping with my cough and itchy throat. So, I guess I do have them. I also snort Alkalol every morning and night. I need to order a Neti Pot and use that instead of snorting.

I will update more often. I promise. I need medical documentation and this is a great way to do it.

She passed!!

Camille took her driver's permit test on her birthday and passed. I have a driver! WOW!! On a sad note, People to People has cancelled the trip to Japan this summer because of the current danger there. Camille is devastated. They are planning another trip, but we do not know the destination yet. I hope it is China because the trip there looks fabulous through People to People. She is already going to Berlin in August on an exchange program, so hopefully it is not Germany. Before the Japan trip was cancelled, Camille was going to do a project about Bento Boxes. So, we bought a bunch of stuff to make them. Needless to say, I am now hooked. Olaf gets a Bento Box everyday for lunch. The children get Bento Boxes at lunch as well. It is fun for me to pack them. I am not great at decorating as I am not much of an artist, but it is fun to do anyway. A great place to start is by watching Bento TV. Go to the archives and watch the very first episode to see what Bento is all about. You can even shop her Ebay Store from that website.

I bought a BodyBugg a couple of weeks ago. I like it! It's what they use on The Biggest Loser. Have I lost weight? Ummm....no. Still fat as ever. I wish I didn't like fattening foods. That would be awesome!!

Olaf's health is in a downward spiral right now. We are awaiting blood test results and a chest X-Ray result as well. So many things going on with him. Pain, fatigue, bloating, cramping, swelling... Just trying to figure it all out. I don't even like to think about it. He needs to go see a neurologist too. His pemphigus is still active and hurts like hell. I try not to worry, but that's like trying not to breathe for me. I'm having my own health issues, but most likely it's my hypochondria. :0)

I cannot believe Simon is going to be four in a couple of months!! FOUR! My baby. He still talks like a baby, takes a pacifier, sleeps with me, and poops in his diaper. For some reason, none of that bothers me in the least. Maybe because I know he is my last baby. I can honestly say I am too old to have another baby and Olaf is too sick. I would love grand babies though. I loved the line in the movie "Easy A" where the parents tell the teenage daughter to hurry up and get knocked up so they can parent another baby! That made me laugh. (They were joking, by the way, to those of you who are appalled right now.)

Camille is Fifteen!!

It only took seven years to conceive her. It's hard to believe that could have a 22 year old if it would have worked out like I planned. Instead, she turns 15 tomorrow and will take her permit test. The first child is always the 'test' child. She definitely had it harder than the other children. There is so much I would do over if I could. I am trusting that she will forgive me, and perhaps learn from my mistakes, as she someday parents her first born. She's turning out to be quite the young woman in spite of my parenting though. She marches to the beat of her own drummer and I like that about her. She roots for the underdog, opens the door for strangers, is wonderful with little children. She radiates beauty from her soul. She will be my world traveler, my adventure seeker.

Her current likes:
Reading on her Kindle
Anime
Manga
Japanese Culture
Drawing Manga
Writing Novels
Glee
Ellen
Howl's Moving Castle

I wonder, sometimes, if it's healthy to love my children this much. Sometimes it overwhelms me. I am so, so blessed. Happy Birthday, Camille! Continue to love. Because love always wins!

We are back from Disney World

We spent a glorious week in Orlando and got back on Saturday. I am already counting down the days until November when we go back. We will do Disney Animal Kingdom Savanna View for five days, then go to Disney's Vero Beach Resort for the weekend, then back to the Animal Kingdom for four more days. Woo Hoo! My children are spoiled. And speaking of spoiled...

Camille has been matched with a girl in Berlin to do an exchange program with. Andrea is 14 years old and will be coming over here the beginning of July for two weeks. Camille will then go to Berlin to stay with Andrea and her family the first two weeks in August. We are super excited about it and Camille is loving the fact that she will be in two countries in less than two months. Japan in June, Germany in August. Lucky girl!!

So, my life is on Facebook now. I keep this blog going for the faithful that don't have Facebook and want to check in on me. My friend, Tammy, in Oregon mainly. I cannot believe in this day and age that everyone doesn't have a Facebook page. :0) I wish everyone would so I could find old friends and teachers.

I am also thinking of going to the Rob Bell book signing on the 31st of this month. His new book Love Wins is coming out and I'd love to listen to him. It has sparked much controversy in the "church" and I will blog about that over at My Alabaster Jar! This is no longer the place for my spiritual insights.

I'll check in again sooneth.

Chicken Pox

Grace, Josiah, and Simon have the chicken pox. Poor Gracie has them the worst so far. Nothing worse than chicken pox in your hoo ha. Josiah started first on Friday, then Grace on Saturday, and Simon today. The incubation time is 14 days. I am just hoping Olaf is immune enough to varicella to not get reinfected. Chicken Pox would literally kill him.

I am watching the Super Bowl right now. Mostly for the commercials. There have been a few good ones so far. Simon is sleeping in my arms, so I am typing one handed. He is three years old and I still hold him... I wonder how long he will let me?

Camille had a great People to People meeting yesterday. She made a few friends. I am already buying stuff for her trip and calling it Birthday presents. Today I bought her a portable clothes line, Dr. Bronner's soap to wash her clothes, some Loksak's to use to wash her clothes, some travel toilet paper (since Japan public toilets do not have toilet paper in them) and a few bandanas to use to dry her hands because the bathrooms don't have paper towels either. I also bought her some shoes that she can slip on and off easily, not only for airport security, but also for the Japanese custom of removing your shoes before entering a home. I already bought her a Kindle, and lighted Kindle Cover, and a Flip Video Camera. Olaf got a new Fugi Digital Camera as a gift for his 20 year anniversary with Delta, so she will be taking that as well. She is so prepared!!

Love this video!

Pretty by Katie Makkai

Pretty by Katie Makkai

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, “What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? What comes next? Oh right, will I be rich?” Which is almost pretty depending on where you shop. And the pretty question infects from conception, passing blood and breath into cells. The word hangs from our mothers' hearts in a shrill fluorescent floodlight of worry.

“Will I be wanted? Worthy? Pretty?” But puberty left me this funhouse mirror dryad: teeth set at science fiction angles, crooked nose, face donkey-long and pox-marked where the hormones went finger-painting. My poor mother.

“How could this happen? You'll have porcelain skin as soon as we can see a dermatologist. You sucked your thumb. That's why your teeth look like that! You were hit in the face with a Frisbee when you were 6. Otherwise your nose would have been just fine!

“Don't worry. We'll get it fixed!” She would say, grasping my face, twisting it this way and that, as if it were a cabbage she might buy.

But this is not about her. Not her fault. She, too, was raised to believe the greatest asset she could bestow upon her awkward little girl was a marketable facade. By 16, I was pickled with ointments, medications, peroxides. Teeth corralled into steel prongs. Laying in a hospital bed, face packed with gauze, cushioning the brand new nose the surgeon had carved.

Belly gorged on 2 pints of my blood I had swallowed under anesthesia, and every convulsive twist of my gut like my body screaming at me from the inside out, “What did you let them do to you!”

All the while this never-ending chorus droning on and on, like the IV needle dripping liquid beauty into my blood. “Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? Like my mother, unwrapping the gift wrap to reveal the bouquet of daughter her $10,000 bought her? Pretty? Pretty.”

And now, I have not seen my own face for 10 years. I have not seen my own face in 10 years, but this is not about me.

This is about the self-mutilating circus we have painted ourselves clowns in. About women who will prowl 30 stores in 6 malls to find the right cocktail dress, but haven't a clue where to find fulfillment or how wear joy, wandering through life shackled to a shopping bag, beneath those 2 pretty syllables.

About men wallowing on bar stools, drearily practicing attraction and everyone who will drift home tonight, crest-fallen because not enough strangers found you suitably fuckable.

This, this is about my own some-day daughter. When you approach me, already stung-stayed with insecurity, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, “No! The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.

“You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. But you, will never be merely 'pretty'.”

Disappointed

Today we were supposed to have company. My friend and her children were supposed to come over for lunch. About 10 minutes before she gets here, I notice Josiah is not acting like his normal perky self and I take his temperature. 101.5. ARRRGHH! I am not sure if this is the same thing (possible chicken pox) that Caleb had two weeks ago. I guess only time will tell. He seems fine right now, except those droopy eyes that give him away every time he is sick. He always looks tired when he is sick and his energy level drops considerably. He is usually bouncing off walls and jumping off couches.

Tomorrow is Camille's first real People to People meeting. They cancelled the January meeting because of the snow. She is super excited. It is all the way over in Locust Grove so we need to leave bring and early in the morning.

I made Buffalo Chicken Dip today for our company that didn't come. I love that stuff. I actually prefer it without the Ranch Dressing in it. Here is the recipe in case some of you have been living under a log:

A bag of frozen chicken breasts-boiled and shredded

1 cup (but I use the whole bottle 12 ounce bottle) of Frank's Buffalo Sauce

1 cup Ranch Dressing (I leave this out)

2 bricks of cream cheese softened

Mix it all together, top with shredded cheddar and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees. Eat it with Tostitos or Crackers. I prefer Tostitos. I think I'll go eat some and grab a beer. Yum!! Gosh, I wonder why I am the fattest I have ever been in my whole life?

An Open Letter to My Friend

Dear Friend,

I am glad I got to speak with you on the phone today. Even though I felt a bit blindsided by the conversation, I am glad it occurred. There are things I still want to say, so I will say them here. This gives me time to process (like you had your time) and to rewrite if the words are not making sense, or are sounding too harsh.

Friend, this is my blog. It is where I share my feelings, frustrations, joys, and life. It is about me. It has never, ever been about you. If you have issues with something I write, then it is your duty as a Christian to come to me and have a conversation. I remember a time when a Bible Study Group I was a part of was offended when I madly stomped out in the middle of the study. Instead of coming to me with my behavior, the leader of that group directed another member of that group to call every person in the Bible Study (except me) to ask if they were "OK" with my behavior. Was my behavior childish? Probably. Was it right for her to call everyone except me? No frickin' way! This is an example of what not to do when you are offended by a sister in Christ. Especially from someone with such... what were the words you used today on the phone? "Godly Character?" With that said, you never did call me. I called you. I had no idea you were upset. You had taken 6 weeks or more to "pray about it" and "get your spirit right." And of course, you have been busy, I understand that too. But during that phone conversation, you already had time to process your feelings. Me? I was working on pure adrenaline.

Like I said on the phone, I respect the decisions you have made even though I do not agree with them. I have honored you in my words and deeds. I have never blamed you for anything. I have never mentioned your name when telling my story. I have never made you out to look like the 'bad guy.' We both know who the bad guy is in this story. And the bad guy affects me so much more than he affects you. My life. My relationship. Even though this affects me to the very core, you are upset because you feel like I lied in my blog. About you. Really? You care so much about yourself in this situation that you cannot feel the deep despair that I am going through? You are more concerned that I might have posted an untruth than feeling the pain that those words were trying to express? Can I tell you something? It's not about you. Those words I wrote are as true for me today as they were the night I wrote them. Should I have prefaced them by "I feel like..." Perhaps. I am sorry that one sentence in my blog offended you.

So, in closing... In my opinion, there is a strain on our friendship that makes it hard to bear. I am not the same person I was when we were close friends anyway, and I think that bothers you. I cannot pretend to be the old Misty when she no longer exists. I am still a Christian and you would think Jesus would be enough to hold a friendship together. I've learned the hard way, that is not true. Will we always be sisters in Christ? Sure. Sisters don't have to be friends. I harbor absolutely no animosity toward you. I have nothing but love for you as a sister in Christ. I wish you love, peace, and happiness in your life. In a time of need, you can always count on me. But I want you to know that I will no longer pursue an earthly friendship with you. If you want to remain friendly, please do not hesitate to call me or email me. I will always reply. But I feel that I have been the one who has sought you out and this friendship feels a bit one sided to me.

Much love,

Misty

Waiting...

We are just waiting in the Jorek home to see if anyone comes down with the chicken pox. Anytime from this weekend on... Caleb went back to school today. He was more than ready to go.

I went to the Ear, Nose, Throat doctor yesterday. Olaf calls him my boyfriend. Dr. Heindel is the best doctor in Newnan in my opinion. Just sayin'. Anyway, I think I have an infected salivary gland and tonsil. I am on antibiotics. Hopefully it will get better.

School is going great for the children. I hate Camille's Biology, but we are getting an A. (notice I sad "we" because if it were just her, we'd be getting a D) The final is next and I am sure that will bring her grade down to a B, but I'm happy with that. It was a tough course. She is using Glencoe Science Biology-The Dynamics of Life. She is actually doing two algebra courses. She is doing Teaching Textbooks on her own (it is slow moving and easy to understand) and for Ashworth (her accredited diploma) we are doing Glencoe Algebra Concepts and Applications. She is also taking Spanish 1 and Literature and the Language Arts. Once one of those courses is complete, she will start Prentice Hall World History-Connections to Today. Then she will be done with her Freshman year. WOO HOO! And yes, all of her books are hard cover text books. Listen to this. I paid $897 for all four years of her high school through Ashworth, now known as James Madison High School. It is a SACS accredited College Prep High School Diploma. They sent me textbooks, study guides, and exam books. She takes most of her exams online except the mid terms and finals. We fax those in because they are not multiple choice. Her Spanish we have to fax in as well. These textbooks are about $100 a piece and I have FOUR YEARS worth of them for under $900.

The Social Network

I am watching The Social Network right now and don't understand a damn thing. Too much computer language for me so far and I am only 15 minutes into the freaking movie. Just sayin'. And as I am trying to watch this, Simon is talking and talking and talking. It's very cute and a little bit annoying at the same time.

Caleb seems to be on the mend. He hasn't had a fever today, and his pox are all scabbed over. I am wondering if Chicken Pox will hit the other children since I had Caleb holed up in his room. I know it is highly contagious and I am hoping if the other children do get it, it happens all at once. Like this week would be nice. If they get it soon we can still go to Oregon. If not, then it may be Disney World. Only time will tell. I'm OK with either trip.

Speaking of Social Networking, find me on Facebook. That is where I am most of the time. :)

Our Anniversary

Today is the day. The day I married a young boy in Hesperia, California. He was barely 19 and I was barely 20 when we said I do. We didn't get married for the "right reasons" either. We simply wanted to move in together and, being in the military, we would make more money if we were married. Neither of us thought that our marriage would last more than a couple of years. And yet, here we are. We have grown up together. We have spent more of our lives together, than apart. We have been together through hard times and joyous times. Through his parent's deaths, my dad's death, as well as the glorious births of our five children. The diagnosis of Fragile X Syndrome in our first born. Then his seizure that almost killed him. Olaf's pemphigus and and his promotions at Delta. Yes, it has been a wild roller coaster ride with very high highs, and very deep lows. I'm so happy he's riding this one with me. I love you, Olaf.

Anniversary Weekend

Tomorrow is my actual anniversary, but we celebrate big here in the Jorek home. We do things in weekends. That said, Caleb woke up with a fever this morning. He has complained of a headache as well, so we have given him Motrin. He went to bed about 8:30 this evening. I worry about my children when they are sick. I am trying not to worry so much, but some habits die hard. I guess I actually worry LESS than I used to when I was certain that God was always trying to "grow" my Christianity. I used to think God was going to somehow smite me just to see if I could handle it. You know, like Job. "Have you considered my servant, Misty? Go kill her children and take everything away she owns and then let's see if she will still love me." I guess that's an issue for my other blog.

Anyway, as I said before, Olaf and I celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary tomorrow. Olaf isn't feeling well either since his steroids have been increased to 30 mg a day. He is jittery, and his heart is pounding out of his chest. He needs to take Zanax just to get through the day. He feels like he is in a constant state of panic. I cannot imagine the effects that these steroids are having on his body. He tries not to lose his temper even though it is so easy when you are on steroids. This pemphigus is one tough cookie. Hopefully we can go on a date next Saturday as we have tickets to see Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engval, and Larry the Cable Guy.

Simon is sitting here eating suckers. He is so cute. I cannot believe he will be four this year. I am convinced he will be the last Jorek child, but still don't want Olaf to get a vasectomy. That seems too final for a couple that has been infertile for our entire marriage. Part of me wants another baby, believe it or not. The other part of me (the rational part) thinks 43 might be too old and my husband may be too sick. Then I look at Kelly Preston and John Travolta. She is like 48 and he is 54 and they just had another baby. If I was guaranteed to live until 80, I would do it. However, there are no guarantees are there? Olaf's parents were only married 23 years before his mom passed away.

Well, that was my day. I am going to try to blog more often. It is fun to go back in the archives and read from time to time.

School year is 2/3 over!

First of all, Josiah is doing better. I have monitored his eating and he is back to 66 pounds! I think I just need to be more diligent about making sure he eats. He did have to have an X-Ray because when the doctor mashed on his tummy, it hurt. She suspected constipation and boy howdy was he backed up!! I could see the stool on the X-Ray and couldn't believe so much poop could be in one kid!

The children just finished lesson 120. They should be done in April and then have a May and June off to play before the weather gets too hot! Camille will probably be doing a subject through the summer though. Just one. Probably History. It's all gooood. She leaves for Japan in June and she is super excited. (I think I am just as excited as she is) We bought her chopsticks for Christmas and she is doing really well with them. It's hard to believe she will be 15, and driving, soon. WAAAHHHH! Where did my baby girl go??

I cannot wait for her birthday to buy her a Kindle! It will be great for the flight to Japan. I am also going to get her a Flip Video Camera so she can take a few short movies here and there. The Flip that takes regular batteries only holds two hours worth of video, but hopefully she will get a few snippets of her trip to share when she comes home. She is working so hard to earn money for the trip. She has a regular babysitting job three days a week, babysits for us, and cleans the house once a week to boot. She has sold fundraising cards and written letters to businesses for sponsors. I am proud of her.

We have plans to visit Oregon next month. I haven't been to Oregon in almost 11 years! Grace and Josiah are excited about going. I am excited to see Oregon again, but the family drama... not so much. We are renting my friend's house for the week so at least we will have our own place to escape to. That's about as motivated as I can get about that trip right now. (Let it be known that I do not like to fly! It's the control freak in me.)

Simon has started to pee in the potty. Sometimes. When he wants to. Hey, it's a start.

Caleb is enjoying his last year at middle school and will move to high school next year. I have no idea where he will be placed, but he will be happy anywhere. As long as he gets to ride the bus and go to PE, all is well.