Deep ponderings from my heart

Lately (well, the past month or so) I have been studying 1 Cor 11. The Lord has really been humbling me through a series of circumstances. Mostly it has been through my husband. It's really a long story, so go get a cup of coffee or something. You see, I have always thought of myself as rather smart. I have a very high IQ and desperately want to take the test to be a member of MENSA. I have always wanted to be a medical doctor and even joined the Air Force so I could get the GI Bill to go to college when I got out. I just knew that I destined for greatness in some sort of influential career that made a lot of money. When I became a Christian my focus totally changed. I no longer desired a career. What I desired was a family. A house full of children and me a full time mother.

My husband started with Delta Airlines as a peon junior mechanic. He became a mechanic and then applied to be a lead mechanic. He had to interview for the position and he got it. He was becoming very well liked by the "powers that be" and excelled in his job. Then the position of foreman came open. He prayed about it and felt like he should put in for the job. Guess what? He got it. He is currently the foreman of two shops, in charge of 40 men, and handles a huge budget. It really is a good job for someone who never went to college. He is super smart, excels in all he does, is very well liked, shares his faith to whomever he feels lead, just is an overall really nice guy. (Here it comes...) And you know what? I find myself jealous. Jealous that he has this great job (I wanted a great job), jealous he gets to go out to eat lunch at nice restaurants at vendors expenses (I have to make lunch before I can eat my pb&j), jealous that he has an office of his own (I don't even have a bedroom all my own). You get the idea. It was all about me, me, me. Of course, I know this thinking is completely wrong. I am not trying at all to excuse my behavior. That is where 1 Cor 11 comes in. (I really was going to get to the point eventually)

But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head. But every woman that prays or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonors her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of man. For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. For this cause a woman ought to have power on her head because of the angels.


Now, I have been taught (and thought for all this time) that this was a cultural thing limited to the Corinthian church. Something about prostitutes and shaving their heads and yada yada yada. However, when I just read the text...just read it with no preconceived ideas...it plainly states that a woman ought to cover her head when she prays. As I pondered this I realized how incredibly prideful and nonsubmissive I am toward my husband. The thought of covering my head to show submissiveness to Olaf (and the angels) is almost unbearable to me. That, my friends, is a HEART issue. As I pray and seek the Lord about it (my heart and pride) the more I feel Him say to me to cover my head. Not because it is "required" but because my heart needs to be humbled before my God and my husband. A physical covering is certainly humbling and a wonderful reminder of my place in the home and in the chain of command mentioned above in Scripture. You have to understand if you do not know me in real life...I am a T-Shirt and jeans woman. I do not wear dresses and denim jumpers. I am not "plain" and I do not think one has to look Amish to be spiritual. So, this head covering thing is really, really, really out of the ordinary for me. That is why I know it is from the Lord. I haven't done it yet. I'm still fighting Him. Maybe I'm not fighting, just negotiating. Do I have to wear it all the time Lord? The thought of wearing it really makes my stomach turn. That is how incredibly prideful I am. I am SO prideful that the thought of wearing it in public doesn't bother me a bit! Why? Because people would look at me and think I'm just one of those "conservative" or maybe "weird" Christians and that would suit me just fine. I'd look "holy" on the outside and be a tomb of rottenness on the inside. A Pharisee. The problem I have is being home with it on. Home. With the man I desperately love and the children who will wonder why Mama has gone completely nuts.

Just as a side note...I have done a lot of study on 1 Cor 11. I know the theories, I have read the commentaries. But I went Solo Scriptura and came to my own conclusions. Did you know the second half of 1 Cor 11 is quoted at almost every evangelical church on communion Sundays?

For I received of the Lord that which I also delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus that same night in which He was betrayed took bread and when He had given thanks, he brake it and said, "Take, eat: this is my body which is broken for you. Do this in remembrance of me." After the same manner he also took the cup when he had supped saying, "This cup is the new testament in my blood: this do ye as oft as ye drink it in remembrance of me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup you show the Lord's death till He comes.

Is that just a cultural thing as well? Hmmm....