The Hormone Guide

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it! Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where do you want to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTA SAFE: Here, have some wine


DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGERSOUS: What did you DO all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine



13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Some pictures

This is where Mami and Papi's ashes were spread.



Olaf and Scott.





Now to find Olaf's half brother, Clemens. Clemens was Henry's son by his first marriage. He needs to know that Henry has passed away. If any realtives in Germany read this and know where Clemens is, can you please e-mail us.

Don't Break the Elastic

I saw this on Nattie's blog today and loved it:

Don't Break The Elastic
by Maya Angelou

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress. But now that I am older,
I've set my body free;
There's the comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose-
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses
As the print's been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago
I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to gray
and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
It's the outside's changed a bit.

What a trip!

We just got home from New York. We drove, yes drove, with five children and a puppy. I didn't want to go...at all...but Olaf was pretty insistant. I gave in (very unwillingly) and pretty much bitched the entire time I was there. The baby got sick on Wednesday night in the hotel and ran a high fever. He kept the fever until Saturday and then broke out in a rash on Sunday...Ah, roseola! Olaf and his brother spread Papi's ashes at the beach on Friday. The same beach where we spread Mami's ashes back in 1992. We brought home some photographs and momentos, but not too much else. I am certain that Olaf will need to go back a few more times before the estate settles. Scott has a lot more work to do than Olaf since he is the one that lives in such close proximity. He also had a much closer relationship with Papi than Olaf did. Scott was only 17 when Mami died, so Papi has been his only parent for the last 17 years.

So, I leave you with a photo of Papi when he came to visit us in October of 2006. The children LOVED him, especially Josiah and Grace.

Rest in peace Heinrich.

Sad News

Olaf's father passed away. Please keep Olaf and his borther, Scott, in your thoughts and prayers.