The Hormone Guide

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it! Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!


DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?

SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST: Where do you want to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!

SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

ULTA SAFE: Here, have some wine


DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?

SAFER: Could we be overreacting?

SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?

SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.

SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


DANGERSOUS: What did you DO all day?

SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.

SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!

ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine



13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Some pictures

This is where Mami and Papi's ashes were spread.



Olaf and Scott.





Now to find Olaf's half brother, Clemens. Clemens was Henry's son by his first marriage. He needs to know that Henry has passed away. If any realtives in Germany read this and know where Clemens is, can you please e-mail us.

Don't Break the Elastic

I saw this on Nattie's blog today and loved it:

Don't Break The Elastic
by Maya Angelou

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in to wear a belted dress. But now that I am older,
I've set my body free;
There's the comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose-
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on
The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses
As the print's been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago
I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to gray
and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
It's the outside's changed a bit.

What a trip!

We just got home from New York. We drove, yes drove, with five children and a puppy. I didn't want to go...at all...but Olaf was pretty insistant. I gave in (very unwillingly) and pretty much bitched the entire time I was there. The baby got sick on Wednesday night in the hotel and ran a high fever. He kept the fever until Saturday and then broke out in a rash on Sunday...Ah, roseola! Olaf and his brother spread Papi's ashes at the beach on Friday. The same beach where we spread Mami's ashes back in 1992. We brought home some photographs and momentos, but not too much else. I am certain that Olaf will need to go back a few more times before the estate settles. Scott has a lot more work to do than Olaf since he is the one that lives in such close proximity. He also had a much closer relationship with Papi than Olaf did. Scott was only 17 when Mami died, so Papi has been his only parent for the last 17 years.

So, I leave you with a photo of Papi when he came to visit us in October of 2006. The children LOVED him, especially Josiah and Grace.

Rest in peace Heinrich.

Sad News

Olaf's father passed away. Please keep Olaf and his borther, Scott, in your thoughts and prayers.

Update

I know, I know...I rarely post anymore. Honestly, I hold Simon all day long. And let me just say he does not like to sit at the computer. Ever.

Margi is growing like a weed and so, so, so cute. My children are doing a great job caring for her. She has never pooped in the house. Not even once. She tinkled twice, but it was as big as a nickle or so. She is doing really well on the potty training. Her fleas and worms are gone! YAY! She is very playful and is a hoot to watch. We all love her.

Simon is almost 11 months old. That is hard to believe, eh? When he smiles he just melts my heart. Those cute teeth and that scrunched up nose. Adorable. He is looking more and more like Camille.

We ordered DVD's for Camille and Grace for next school year. That means I will just have to do Kindergarten with Josiah. Hopefully it won't be too hard. I have never taught a boy before. Speaking of Josiah, he looks exactly like me. Of all my children he definitely resembles me the most.

Diet isn't going too great. I need to start the FIRM again. I like exercising.

Happy Easter

I was saying to Olaf yesterday when we were out shopping, that no one has a problem saying Happy Easter. You know how some people won't sat Merry Christmas because they don't want to offend anyone so they say Happy Holidays instead? Well, what is more "offensive" than Easter? I haven't head one person say "Happy Spring" or "Happy Solstice Day." Do people not know that Eater is when Jesus rose from the grave? I mean, you can make Christmas more pagan than Easter! Anyway, just my two cents on the subject. I hope everyone has a lovely Easter.

Peep Show

Thank you, Stephanie, for making me laugh!

I'm on strike!

I went on strike yesterday. Too many little things piling up on me during my premenstrual week. This weekend I am going to do nothing and make the children do almost everything. It's good for them to get a reality check once in awhile. Oh you mean, clothes don't wash themselves? Go figure.

Olaf is home today for Good Friday. Yes, Delta still gives their employees Good Friday as a holiday. He is about to leave to take Margi to the vet. She has worms (I managed to get rid of the fleas PTL) and she needs that wormer medicine...now. That is just totally gross to me. ::shudders:: She is such a cute dog though. It's almost hard to call her a dog because she is so small. She's more like a rodent; but cuter.

I had some dental work done on Monday and my cheek is so bruised from all the shots. He has to give me several shots with two different medicines in order to numb me. I am in the process of getting a crown, so I have to go back for another appointment and I am not looking forward to it. I am usually numb for 12-20 hours after I go to the dentist.

I haven't been to Weight Watchers in a couple of weeks due to appointments on Mondays. I have eaten terribly and probably gained all the weight I have lost. I am just not motivated for some reason. You'd think being fat would be motivation enough, right?

Simon is crawling really fast now. He has at least five teeth through and another three sitting at the gum line. He is so cute but getting so big.

Meet Margarita

That's Margi (hard g like in Margarita). She is our new seven week old chiuaua that we just bought in front of our local WalMart. We were all going to go grocery shopping when we saw the sign that said "Chiuaua Puppies for sale!" All of us (even my husband) wanted to stop and look. We have had her about an hour now and everyone in the house is smitten. Except for Deacon and the cats.

Happy Birthday Camille

Twelve years old today. I cannot believe it! We love you so much and thank the Lord that he gave us the gift of YOU!

Simon started crawling

Last week he really started moving. Granted, he is ten months old today...but still! Hee hee. He started pulling up on furniture and then promptly falling. I took this video today; his ten month birthday.

I think this baby just may be the cutest baby in the whole wide world. And if you do not agree, then don't bother commenting;)

I lost over three pounds at Weight Watchers last night. WOO HOO for me. I stopped doing the Firm and the weight is now falling off. I guess I was working out too hard.

And the winner is...

Well, great odds if you wanted to win the Pioneer Woman calendar! Four whole comments. Hee hee. The winner is....

Renee

Congratulatulations, woman!

Bloggy Give Away

I have an extra 2008 calendar from The Pioneer Woman. My husband ordered one for me for Christmas and I ordered one for me for Christmas. Since I don't have a place to hang the second calendar, I am going to give it away. Just leave a comment if you would like it (be sure you put in your e-mail) and I will draw on Friday. And if you are not familiar with The Pioneer Woman, get going. She is fabulous!

Callaway Gardens

We went to Callaway yesterday. Here is a video of the children (and Olaf) launching rockets.

It was a gorgeous day and everyone had a blast! (PUN!! Totally unintentional.)

Naturally Seven

I thought this video was fun. This group (Naturally Seven) are on a subway in Paris when they just start doing their thing. It's amazing what seven men can do with only their voices!

Hello...can anybody hear me?

Blogging has been the last thing on my mind. The days just seem to slip by one into the other. The time I used to take to blog, I now work out. That is a good thing. On the other hand, Josiah is getting harder to parent and requiring more time than usual. He is testing every single boundry we have several times a day. I really feel way too old to parent at times like these. Parenting requires consistancy all. the. time. Or at least MY parenting requires that. Sometimes I am at a loss as to how to discipline though. I feel like I am constantly sending Josiah to his room so I can figure out what to do with him this time. ::heavy sigh:: Hopefully, hopefully, this won't last too long because it is killing me.

I gained weight at Weight Watchers yesterday. That sucked, but I deserved it. I have committed to no alcohol until I lose 20 pounds. I think that is hindering my weight loss more than I realize. And just think how good that martini will taste when I finally get the 20 pounds off. I mean, I am not a lush by any means, but I do enjoy a nightcap with my husband after the children go to bed. And considering my previous paragraph, having just one is doing GREAT!

Caleb is home this week for mid winter vacation. He is mad. He hates being home when he could be having fun at school. And I do mean fun. Grace and Josiah think public school is doing what Caleb does all day. They would be in for a huge surprise if I sent them to school. I tried to explain to them that they wouldn't get to go bowling, go to Target, WalMart, and Home Depot, go to gymnastics, etc if they went to school. Only retarded kids get to do that. They don't get it. And don't lambaste me for the word retarded. I can say it because he's an immediate family member. It's the rule. And please read this! It will make you laugh hard.

Brief catch up

Well, Olaf and I weigh in this evening at Weight Watchers. I hope and pray I have lost a pound. I know Olaf probably lost 6 pounds, but that is the way the proverbial cookie crumbles. Simon has a follow up appointment with the ENT doctor today as well. We'll see if that fluid is still sitting behind his eardrums. I hope he won't need tubes.

Camille will be turning 12 soon. She is such a HUGE helper to me. I cannot imagine not having her here all day long.

Need to run and start school with Gracie. Have a fabulous day everyone!

Look at my cutie pie!

So many fans

I have been admonished by several of you (OK about three people) that I need to update this here blog. So, I am updating...

As you know, our 20th anniversary was on the 23rd. Olaf got me the most beautiful platinum and diamond earrings. The bad thing is the post is so thick that they are hard to get in my ears. I have never had screw on back earrings before because I have never owned a pair of expensive earrings before. Here is a photo of them.



What else? Hmmm... Simon cut his top teeth and ate his first homemade chocolate chip cookie tonight. He still isn't crawling, but he gets on his hands and knees and then pushes up to just his knees. He is starting to clap, wave, dance, say Mama and Papa, and he definitely knows what "ninny" means. (That is our word for nursing)

Although I ate horribly all week, I still exercised and somehow (miraculously) lost a pound. I am going to start Weight Watchers soon just for the accountability. I am finding I need that. I am trying to get Olaf to join with me. We could take the baby to the meetings and Camille could stay home for an hour with the other children. He doesn't need to lose too much weight. Maybe 30 pounds maximum. He did say he would start working out with me. We bought these resistance bands that come with a workout. I got medium and he got heavy. I can't wait until we get them.

We had this most excellent raspberry wine/liquor at Epcot and ordered it from our local package store. It came in and we are enjoying it:) It's called Grandma's Liquor and is considered a dessert wine. One word. Scrumptious.

That's about it I think. I will try to be better about updating. It's just hard to sit down and type when I am holding Simon almost every single moment.