My husband left me

Only for a night though. He is in Boston on business. Tomorrow he has a doctor's appointment for his shoulder pain that is now in his elbow and wrist. He also is doing a follow-up for that ER visit a few months back. He needs to go see a neurologist. He's a physical mess, but I love him.

Tomorrow is the last day of public school. Caleb goes for a half day tomorrow. Camille is finished with school, but I will give her a page of math or language arts once or twice a week to keep her on her toes. We will officially start school in July. Camille will be in the 5th grade and Grace will start Kindergarten. Did I tell you we got the results back from her PASS test? She aced math like I knew she would.

Yesterday I started paging Olaf throughout the day with reasons why I love him. I sent 13 pages yesterday and two so far this morning. He loves it. I made a list of 100 (which is easy to do...try it!) and will page him for a few days until he gets all 100. Some are silly, some are serious, all are true. The one he likes the best so far has been: "I love you because you want a baby!" He really does want another baby. More than I want one I think. He loves, loves, loves, newborns. He loves kissing their little open mouths and smelling that spit up breath. The ONLY time the man has ever told me to lose weight was last week. I was telling him that when women have a rapid weight loss that it can trigger estrogen production and make a woman more fertile. He said, "Girl, lose some weight. I want a baby!"

I applied for my passport for Survivor. Now, I just need a passport size photo to send in with my application and video. Our ink cartridges are empty so as soon as I buy some more, my package will be complete. It has to be in their hands by June 15th so I have a little time.

I was happy Taylor won American Idol last night. I have liked him from the start. I think Chris would have gotten it had he been in the final two, but I like Taylor.

Camille has started playing Toontown online. What a fun game! Of course, I want to play too so we have to share our Toontown time. You interact with the other "toons" that are playing online with you. It's just super fun.

I have nothing to make for supper tonight so I am going to take the children out for pizza. I'd rather do that then take them to the grocery store:)

OK, time to get going.... Have a blessed day.

Gracie is FIVE!

May 23, 2001 at 4:30 am you were born in Mama's bed. You were almost three weeks early and weighed 7 lbs 10 oz. I love you more each day. I am so proud to be your Mama.

WOW!

I just read my post from yesterday and it really sounds whiney! I didn't mean to sound so whiney...really. Just wanted to say that. Lo Siento, I'm sorry, jammer, me fal, het spijt me, Undskyld, anteeksi, pardon excusez-moi, Entschuldigung, maaf, gomen nasai.

Good Morning

Saturday morning. Caleb's last baseball game. It's supposed to be warm today too. We've had a beautiful week of cool weather. I mean, unseasonably cool. It has been lovely. Back to normal today. Hot and sticky and yucky.

I had a dream last night that I met my new baby niece. Scott (the Dad and my BIL) was alone (I have no idea where Frances, his wife, was) and I was telling him to bring me a bottle so I could feed the baby. Well, he brought me one ounce of refrigerated Pediasure in a bottle for a newborn! LOL! I was telling him that she needed formula and he was just laughing at me saying, "You think you know EVERYTHING Misty." Which is basically the way I feel around Scott in real life. I get the feeling that he thinks we are a bit on the dumb side. Afterall, we are not college graduates and we are born again Christians. That must make us rather stupid to some people. It is a bit sad that Olaf and I have no extended family that we see at all. His father and brother live in NY. His father says he is too old to travel and will not visit. Scott used to come about once a year but we haven't seen him since Josiah was 4 months old (Over three years ago). My mother and siblings live in Oregon. No one will come to Georgia to visit us. It has been six years since I have seen my mother and siblings. I am looking forward to making memories with my children and grandchildren. I cannot wait to have everyone over for BBQ's and big dinners and family vacations. You bet your sweet bippy that I will get my old butt on a plane and travel to wherever my children are. I don't care if it's half way around the world. It makes me feel a bit rejected and unloved to know that my family doesn't care enough to come see us, but I just have to remember that God is the Father to the orphan and the husband to the widow. I have to put my hope in that and not look longingly back at what never will be.

On another note, my poor husband has had shoulder pain for over a week now. It is constant and hurts him a lot. 1200 mg of Motrin doesn't touch the pain. I want him to go to the doctor, but I can only nag so much. I am worried about him because I just read of a person (that I personally know) with severe shoulder pain that was diagnosed with cancer all over his body. Yes, my hypochondria is taking over.

Well, hubby is up and I need to go. Have a great weekend.

I'm here...

***Edited to add that when I posted about my former friend in paragraph two, I was in total agreement with her position NOT to be on the show that contacted her. They got the impression that I was being negative toward them which was totally not my point at all. She took down the post so the link doesn't work, but I am leaving it up so that this edit will make sense to those who haven't read the original post yet.**

No excuses for not blogging. We have been a wee bit busier than normal, but not so busy that I can't plop down for a few minutes and tell everyone about my day. I know y'all are just dying to hear.

Camille went riding on Tuesday AND today. From here on out she will ride every other Tuesday though. That leaves some money in the budget for piano lessons...possibly. I am looking into that right now. The girls are at the dentist for their annual check up. It's Grace's first ever visit to the dentist. I hope she does well. We usually don't take the children until they are 5 or so. It's just too scary when they are smaller than that. Josiah would freak if I took him right now.

I read this post today (took down the link because the original link was changed to some hooplah about me being unkind to them etc. And just FYI for anyone following this post, I did NOT write this paragraph thinking that she wrote her reponse to Wife Swap because she knew I was applying to be on Survivor. I know she doesn't read my blog (but some of her friends do apparantley) and I was just trying to get the point across that I do not always feel the way she feels. She is what I would LOVE to attain to but I have not gotten there, and probably never will. I am a work in progress. She has arrived. That is all.) and felt a bit crappy for applying to be on Survivor. The woman that wrote that post used to be a real close online friend of mine. We e-mailed almost everyday and I truly valued her friendship. In a nutshell, I ticked her off and she told me I was not worth the effort to be my friend. At first I was totally devastated, but the more I read her blog, the more convinced I am that the Lord did the separating. HE truly is sovereign and I believe it was for my good.

And that last paragraph reminds me of this. It is my new favorite song. I know I have pulled (and continue to pull) planks from my eye all the time.

Oh! TTOW! The hippies won the Amazing Race. I am so, so happy. Now if Taylor wins American Idol I can get through the summer alright.

I have stat counter on my blog and it lets me see where people are coming from when they visit my blog. Like, if someone does a google search it will tell me what words they used in order to get to my blog. I get a lot of "puss pockets in throat" (when Josiah was sick) and "weight watchers blinkies" but today I had a FUNNY one. It was "dana undies knee pads"! What the??? Why in the world would they click the link to MY blog?? And who in the world would do a google search for that?

I am re-reading (is that supposed to be hyphenated ello?) Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. Regardless of what I believe about the Pearl's child raising techniques, this particular book has been good for me. Timely is a better word. God does that, doesn't He? There have been some terrific quotes that really hit me over the head. Wanna hear some? "You are, by nature, equipped in every way to be your man's helper." That really just hit me. I, me, Misty, am equipped in EVERY WAY to be Olaf's helper. Me. Not someone else. Me. God chose me to be Olaf's wife. That made me happy. Here is another quote regarding leading the family; "It is far better that the job be done poorly by your husband than to be done well by you." Ouch! That's all I have to say about that. Then there was this question that she asked; "If God created a special woman perfectly suited to be your husband's helper, would you be that woman?" That got me thinking as well...

Alrighty, I need to run. I have to make veggie pizza for Bible Study tonight. Have a blessed day.

Tagged by Dawn

I was tagged by Dawn! ( I lurve Dawn)

Accent: I can do any accent you want. New York, Boston, Minnesota, Southern, Pacific Northwest, Girlfriend...

Bible Book that I like: Ephesians

Chore I don't care for: Mopping

Dog or Cat: We have 2 of each.

Essential Electronics: computer

Favorite Cologne: Karma by Lush or Laila TOTALLY different smells...love them both.

Gold or Silver: Silver, most definitely

Handbag I Carry Most Often: A large brown Coach bag that Olaf bought me about 12 or 13 years ago.

Insomnia: Always

Job Title: Help Meet to my husband (or at least trying my best) and Homeschooling Mom.

Kids: One of my pet peeves. I do NOT have goats, I have children. Four to be exact.

Living Arrangements: With my family in my 1400 square foot house. Perfect.

Most Admirable Trait: My wit of course!

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: I was so bad...there is too much to choose from.

Overnight Hospital Stays: Only with my two hospital births.

Phobias: Plane crashing, drowning, falling from a tall building, basically death...

Quote: Those of you who think you know everything really annoy those of us who do.

Religion: I prefer the title relationship over religion, but I am a born again Christian.

Siblings: 2 half, one whole, 2 step

Time I Wake Up: 6:15 on the weekdays. Only because my husband is SO gracious and takes care of Caleb in the morning. He gets up at 5:00 am.

Unusual Talent or Skill: I can clap one handed..really.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: I love all veggies.

Worst Habit: Staying up late.

X-rays: A whole bunch, but I have never broken anything.

Yummy Stuff I Cook: Nothing. Really. Edible, yes. Yummy, no.

Zoo Animal I Like Most: I hate zoo's. But if I had to choose it would probably be a lion or something wild and dangerous like that.

I'm back

I haven't downloaded my photos of Disney yet, but I will tomorrow. I am in the middle of watching (actually listening) to the Survivor finale. We taped my three minute application video today. Chances are slim that I will get an interview, but if it happens, you'll be the first to know.

Disney was fun. I have to say that Epcot was my favorite. We didn't even see the shows that each country had to offer, but we still had a blast. They had Soarin' there from Disney's California theme park and it was a very cool ride. Grace rode EVERYTHING including Space Mountain and Everest at The Animal Kingdom. Her exact words were, "Oh Mom, I hear screaming. That must be a good ride!" The bigger the ride, the better! The timeshare we stayed in was gorgeous. Oh my! I cannot thank Shirley enough for letting us stay there on a guest pass. It was fantabulous. I wish I could afford a time share, but I cannot. (Unless I win the million on Survivor!) Until then, I'll have to mooch off of those who have some weeks banked. Anyone?? Anyone?? We went to the Magic Kingdom three days, Epcot twice and Animal Kingdom once. Fun, fun, fun. At Epcot we went to Germany and bought some Asbach Urald brandy and it is tasty.

Tomorrow starts the work week. My poor husband is not excited about going back. He is going to be swamped, swamped, swamped. This week is busy for the children and I too. There are dental appointments and riding lessons this week. There are no groceries in the house which means I have to take the children to the store tomorrow. Caleb goes back to school tomorrow. I think the last day of school is the 23rd. Then he'll be out for three months and I'll be going a wee bit crazy.

Hopefully I will upload the pictures tomorrow and you will be able to see them on Flickr. However, you will need to sign up (it's free) and have me add you as a friend to see them. Just let me know your Flickr name and I'll add you so you can see the pics!

Buh Byeee

We are off! Disney World awaits the Jorek Clan. Pray we have a safe and peaceful trip. See ya next week with lots of pictures.

Photo Survey

Stolen from Heather.

1. Somewhere you want to travel someday


2. Where you want to live someday


3. Where you live now


4. An item/celebrity/trend/TV Show/Movie from the year you were born (like toys, books, musicians, hair styles etc.):


5. One of your favorite TV Shows


6. One of your favorite childhood books/stories

7. Favorite fast food place:

8. Favorite Band/Singer


9. A picture of the number 9:

10. Something that can be found in a forest:

11. Your favorite season:

12. Your favorite ANIMATED Disney movie:

13. Your favoite non-animated Disney movie:

14. A picture of something that’s your favorite color (like sun=yellow,red=blood, blueberries=blue etc…):

15. A celebrity that has the first name as you;

16. A celebrity you look like: (well, people have told me that I look like her)

17. Favorite Film

I'm going to do it

I have filled out an application to be on Survivor and I am going to make my three minute video and send it in. Any suggestions as to how to make mine stand out from the thousands upon thousands that they get? I'm certainly not going naked (America is so not ready for that). I was thinking of just capturing the chaos of my home life and then turning to the camera and say I need a vacation. Not that Survivor would be a vacation, but it would be kind of funny none-the-less. A friend suggested contacting Paschal English, a former Survivor contestant, who is a judge fairly local to me. I may try to call him, but I'm not sure if I will ever get to talk to the man.

Me: Ummm, can I please speak to the Honorable Paschal English please?
Secretary: May I ask who is calling?
Me: Well, I really want to get on Survivor and (click)...

I am hoping they want a born again, homeschooling, fairly conservative Christian because they have to have a token "religious" person on with the token homosexual. I'm not looking forward to being hungry, but losing 30 pounds would be tight! I'll keep you posted.

Camille had a riding lesson today with her new instructor. The horse is beautiful. Camille did OK. We will be going every other week because that is the only slot she has available right now. It's better than a swift kick in the pants.

I am keeping Caleb out of school the next two days. If he has been exposed to any sicknesses, symptoms should be manifesting by Saturday. I need to know what I'm dealing with before I go to Orlando. Three more days and we will be on the road. Woo Hoo! I still need to do some shopping.

I am going to the homeschool conference this Friday to shop. I am meeting Tammy Pitts there to visit awhile before things get crazy. I don't plan on staying too long. There is so much to do Friday to get ready for the trip. I have already bought the bulk of their curriculum from ABeka, but there are a few supplemental things I'd like to get.

Have a great day. Thanks for checking in on me. Leave a comment or something.

Is this blog about homeschooling?

Because I rarely post about it anymore. I guess I should rename it, My Life Journey. However, I read a great list in Homeschool Digest by Laura Bankston entitled "A Few Reasons to Homeschool" Here they are:

1 Be with your family...2 Set your own schedule...3 Vacation when you want...4 Choose curriculum that best suits the need of your child...5 Be totally aware of the state and progress of your child's education...6 Keep your child away from unnecessary peer pressure...7 Keep your child away from the bad influence of other children...8 Love, nurture, and teach your children the character and morals you value most...9 Make learning fun...10 Make learning as "experimental" as you want...11 You don't have to get up early...12 Break up the day however you want to fit your child's learning style and attention span...13 Teach your child without any "assumed limitations"...14 What you teach to the older children naturally filters down to the younger children...15 Teach at the pace and developmental stage appropriate for your child...16 avoid "educational labeling"...17 Keep your child as far away from drugs as possible...18 Never have to worry about bomb scares or mass shootings...19 Allow your child to think, discuss, and explore in ways not possible in a classroom setting...20 Constant positive reinforcements and gentle correction...21 Don't use the school as a babysitter. You only need a few hours of learning, the rest of the day is filled with unnecessary busy work...22 Develop life skills such as cooking, cleaning, and organizing that are easily learned with the additional time spent at home...23 Spend as much time outdoors as you want to enjoy nature and the world around us...24 Teach the value of responsibility by providing daily jobs...25 Teach money management by everyday living...26 Never have your child beat up by a bully...27 No set expectations on younger siblings following older ones through school...28 Be around when your child needs to talk...29 Take a break when your child needs a break...30 Bond as a family...31 Pass on your religious beliefs and don't worry about "indoctrination" of the school system's philosophy...32 Teach sex education when and how you want to...33 Develop your child's imagination...34 Unlimited possibilities for extra curricular activities...35 Develop the individualism of your child...36 Never have your child feel like a failure...37 No chance for you child to "just get by" with academics...

There are at least 25 more, but I don't have the time to type them right now. I will finish later...

The van is fixed

Let's just pray that it stays fixed. We have changed two of the four oxygen sensors now. I hope the other two don't go bad. It cost over $300 today. (I'd insert a crying face here, but dont have one.)

Karen got some good news today! Her Pet/CT scan revelealed that there is only cancer activity in her breast, NOT in her liver. Praise God!

On a very sad note, Lisa, who was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in December 2004, passed away today. Will you please pray for her family? She just turned 34 years old and has two very young children. Cancer sucks. It just does.

Special Olympics

It was a gorgeous day for Special Olympics yesterday. It was cool but sunny. I actually got a little bit of a burn on my face. I put pictures on Flickr. You can click the link in my sidebar and see the few pics I took. My camera batteries died. I had just recharged them. I hate rechargable batteries. Anyway, Caleb decided to moonwalk the 50 yard dash instead of run it. He just wanted the attention. He moonwalked it backwards by the way. Go take a look. He competed in the 50 yard dash, the softball throw, and the standing long jump. All he wanted to do was to go to the "Olympic Village" and get popcorn and Sprite.

My weigh in sucked last night. I gained a lot of weight. Weight I didn't "deserve" to gain either. I have to believe that the FIRM is building muscle faster than my fat is dissipating. It's still frustrating though. I will keep pressing on. I will update my Weight Loss blog later today. But I refuse to change my ticker!!

Eight more days until Disney! Eight. More. Days.

We are dropping the van off this evening to get the oxygen sensor replaced. Praying that this will fix all our problems and we will have a nice safe ride to Orlando.

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday

and still not much to report.

Special Olympics was supposed to be tomorrow but they have moved it to Thursday because of the likelihood of rain.

I think I have found a new riding instructor for Camille. Yes again. The girl that we just started with, quit. I'm not holding my breath. I just pray this one works out.

Please pray for Karen. Things are not progressing as we hoped.

I have a dear friend who is pregnant but I can't say who. They want to wait awhile before announcing it.

Take a look at these pictures. They are my online friends! Twelve of them got together in Dallas for a weekend of fun. I'm totally jealous.

I did a 55 minute FIRM video today and burned over 500 calories. Check out my weight loss blog.

Do you know I have an online friend in New Zealand? (Hi Wilm!) And you know what else? Their water spins clockwise when it goes down the drain. Ours (being the top half of the world) spins counter clockwise.

I also get hits on my blog from places like the UK, Poland, and Iceland. How cool is that?

I love my Mother's Day present

I got my Polar F4 Heart Rate Monitor and I love it. I have worked out twice with it. It's a pretty cool little toy. Today I did a 45 minute DVD and burned 450 calories. The hard part for me is writing down everything I eat.

Next weekend we will be getting our van fixed. We have had a check engine light on for FOREVER. We knew it was an Oxygen Sensor and Olaf assured me that it was not necessary to change. He said it only had to do with emissions and would not affect the way the engine actually ran. Well....today we had an alignement and tire rotation done and Olaf asked the guy to hook it up to the computer to see if there were any other faults showing up in the engine. Needless to say, there were several. Olaf called the Mazda dealer service department and talked to a mechanic there. He explained the situation and the mechanic said that the Oxygen Sensor could be causing all those other faults. Hmmm.... So, next weekend we will have the Oxygen Sensor replaced and pray nothing else goes bad on the way to Orlando. Our tax refund that is paying for this trip keeps dwindling with stuff like this. Sucketh. Some of it is my fault becuase I used $109 to join Weight Watchers for ten weeks and then Olaf bought me a Mother's Day gift that cost $80. I guess I should shut up!:)


It's been raining here for the past couple of days. I hate rain. I grew up in Springfield, Oregon where all it does is rain. So when it rains here I fear it will never stop. The only way you can tell it's summer in Oregon is when the rain gets warmer. A true Oregonian has webbed feet. And FYI, it is not pronounced Ore-gone. Like Gone With the Wind. It is pronounced Orygun.

Josiah caught a caterpillar a few days ago and was keeping it for a pet. He would go outside and touch it and carry it all around. Well, he left the box outside and the rain killed it last night. He is now on a search for a new caterpillar and nothing else is appeasing him. Poor child.

Olaf is cleaning the inside of the van right now. I admit it. I am a slob. I let the children eat in the car. The paper wrappings of straws and candy mints are strewn all over my floorboard. A small animal could live for a month on the french fries that are sure to be found on the floor near my children. And everytime (everytime) my husband cleans out the car for me, I get "the" lecture. Good thing he only does it once a year!:)


Two weeks from today and we leave for Disney World. Yee Haw!

Not much to blog about

But I'll blog for Tammy.

I washed the curtains in my room as well as the matching thingamabobs that hang off the railings around my bed. I have an open canopy bed and there are these little curtain lace things that hang around the bed. Am I making any sense? Anyway, they were filthy. Olaf has asthma really bad and these things had an inch of dust on them. Not condusive to an asthmatic.

I just finished the FIRM Jiggle Free Arms. It's only 30 minutes, but it's better than nothing. Olaf ordered the heart rate monitor that I wanted for Mother's Day. It should be here tomorrow. Woo Hoo! Now I can see how many calories I am actually burning doing the FIRM.

On another note, Josiah doesn't eat. Anything. Except chocolate. I bought him french fries today from McDonalds. They are sitting there untouched. You can see every bone in his body. I am trying not to worry.

I got a coupon in the mail today from Yankee Candle. Buy two of the large jars, get one free. I have to do that. I love Yankee Candles. I do not like fruity scents though. Yuck.

Camille is almost done with her school year. She has 16 more days. We will start back up somewhere in the beginning of July. She will be in the fifth grade and Grace will be in Kindergarten. They are growing up way too fast.

Tonight is the Amazing Race. I hope the hippies catch up. I want them to win.

Have a great day!!

Dumb

So, I had this Metabolite that I bought on clearance YEARS ago. You know, the one WITH the ephedra? It was in the clearance bin at Publix becasue they were going to the ephedra free formula. So, I spent the $1.99 for a bottle of 180 pills. And it sat in my cupboard for two or three years. Until today. I get it out and look at the expiration date. It expired a year ago. I figure I may as well try it and see if it works anyway. I took the 2 caplets one hour prior to eating just like it said. Now I am a shaky, jittery, mess. I guess ephedra doesn't expire afterall. I also know why people got hooked on this stuff. I feel like I am on speed. My heart is racing, my hands are literally shaking, and I want to clean my house. Something is definitely wrong:0)

Camille finished her standardized test today and it is sitting in the mailbox. They grade it and send the results to me. I am certain the girl scored awesome in math. I'm not sure about reading and language. It will take three or four weeks to get the results back. Right now she and Grace are at the table playing school. I LOVE that. They are both learning so much when they do that. Right now Camille has her counting by twos.

I ordered the bulk of my curriculum for next year already. ABeka had free shipping this month. At the homeschool conference (the day before we leave for Disney) I plan on buying the GA History stuff from Notgrass. I will also do A Reason for Writing with both of the girls and maybe Explode the Code with Gracie.

Josiah wants me to sit with him in the chair, so off I go! Have a great day.

Happy Easter

I hope everyone is having a blessed day. We started it out with the children finding their baskets this morning. Then we hid about 60 plastic eggs in the front yard for the children to find. Needless to say, my children have eaten so much chocolate that I am surprised they aren't throwing up. We all sat down to watch the Donut Man's Ressurection Celebration (thinking that would be good for the little ones) when Grace decided she needed to wash her hands. I called her back to the living room because she was missing the whole point of the story when she promptly told me "I don't care." Well, if you don't care about the real reason for Easter then obviously you don't care about Easter at all. And if that is true, then you just lost your Easter Basket and everything inside of it. Olaf took her to the bedroom and explained how awful that attitude was and asked her to pray and tell the Lord she was sorry. She refused. I took her Easter Basket away. She cried and still refused to pray. I say predestination, Olaf says not! LOL! She finally did pray when I went in and told her to, which really negates the prayer altogether. Why didn't these children come with a step by step manual?

I just ate a egg salad sandwich for lunch. I have no idea how many Weight Watchers points that is and I really don't want to. It had a TON of mayo on it. I really need to be good the rest of the day. I mean...really, really good. For supper tonight we are grilling hamburgers and hot dogs. I will eat the 97% fat free Hebrew National Hot Dogs for one point each. They are actually quite good. The bun is 2 points each though. So for 6 points I can have two hot dogs.

Have a great Easter everyone. The Lord has risen!

Words.

ALIVE!

by Max Lucado

ROAD. DARK. STARS. SHADOWS. FOUR. SANDALS. Robes. Quiet. Suspense. Grove. Trees. Alone. Questions. Anguish. “Father!” Sweat. God. Man. God-Man. Prostrate. Blood. “NO!” “Yes.” Angels. Comfort.

Footsteps. Torches. Voices. Romans. Surprise. Swords. Kiss. Confusion. Betrayal. Fearful. Run! Bound. Wrists. Marching.

Courtyard. Priests. Lamps. Sanhedrin. Caiaphas. Sneer. Silk. Arrogance. Beard. Plotting. Barefoot. Rope. Calm. Shove. Kick. Annas. Indignant. Messiah? Trial. Nazarene. Confident. Question. Answer. Punch!

Peter. “Me?” Rooster. Thrice. Guilt.

Proceedings. Court. Rejection. Prosecute. Weary. Pale. Witnesses. Liars. Inconsistent. Silence. Stares. “Blasphemer!” Anger. Waiting. Bruised. Dirty. Fatigued. Guards. Spit. Blindfold. Mocking. Blows. Fire. Twilight.

Sunrise. Golden. Jerusalem. Temple. Passover. Lambs. Lamb. Worshipers. Priests. Messiah. Hearing. Fraud. Prisoner. Waiting. Standing. Shifting. Strategy. “Pilate!” Trap. Murmurs. Exit.

Stirring. Parade. Crowd. Swell. Romans. Pilate. Toga. Annoyed. Nervous. Officers. Tunics. Spears. Silence. “Charge?” “Blasphemy.” Indifference. Ignore. (Wife. Dream.) Worry. Interview. Lips. Pain. Determined. “King?”

“Heaven.” “Truth.” “Truth?” Sarcasm. (Fear.) “Innocent!” Roar. Voices. “Galilean!” “Galilee?” “Herod!”

9:00 A.M. Marchers. Palace. Herod. Fox. Schemer. Paunchy. Crown. Cape. Scepter. Hall. Elegance. Silence. Manipulate. Useless. Vexed. Revile. Taunt. “King?” Robe. Theatrical. Cynical. Hateful. “Pilate!”

Marching. Uproar. Prisoner. Hushed. Pilate. “Innocent!” Bedlam. “Barabbas!” Riot. Despair. Christ. Bare. Rings. Wall. Back. Whip. Slash. Scourge. Tear. Bone. Moan. Flesh. Rhythm. Silence. Whip! Silence. Whip! Silence. Whip! Thorns. Stinging. Blind. Laughter. Jeering. Scepter. Slap. Governor. Distraught. (Almost.) Eyes. Jesus. Decision. Power. Freedom? Threats. Looks. Yelling. Weak. Basin. Water. Swayed. Compromise. Blood. Guilt.

Soldiers. Thieves. Crosspiece. Shoulder. Heavy. Beam. Heavy. Sun. Stagger. Incline. Houses. Shops. Faces. Mourners. Murmurs. Pilgrims. Women. Tumble. Cobblestone. Exhaustion. Gasping. Simon. Pathetic. Golgotha.

Skull. Calvary. Crosses. Execution. Death. Noon. Tears. Observers. Wails. Wine. Nude. Bruised. Swollen. Crossbeam. Sign. Ground. Nails. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pierced. Contorted. Thirst. Terrible. Grace. Writhing. Raised. Mounted. Hung. Suspended. Spasms. Heaving. Sarcasm. Sponge. Tears. Taunts. Forgiveness. Dice. Gambling. Darkness.

Absurdity.

Death. Life.

Pain. Peace.

Condemn. Promise.

Nowhere. Somewhere.

Him. Us.

“Father!” Robbers. Paradise. Wailing. Weeping. Stunned. “Mother.” Compassion. Darkness. “My God!” Afraid. Scapegoat. Wilderness. Vinegar. “Father.” Silence. Sigh. Death. Relief.

Earthquake. Cemetery. Tombs. Bodies. Mystery. Curtain. Spear. Blood. Water. Spices. Linen. Tomb. Fear. Waiting. Despair. Stone. Mary. Running. Maybe? Peter. John. Belief. Enlightenment. Truth. Mankind. Alive. Alive.

Alive!